What Doesn't Kill You Turns You into a Smoker
“Flight” by JC Alfier
When Rachel contacts me to get the photos, I’ve already heard about the reality show. She wants them to humanize her, to show how far she’s come. She was once a flat-chested girl scream-singing “…Baby One More Time” into a hairbrush. Look how hot she is now! The collegiate nose job, the post-graduation boob job. She’s Oops Britney. She can do the choreography and everything, but so can all the other girls. Rachel will stand out by arranging her heart on a platter. Hot and heartfelt. That’s her brand.
The ceramic ashtray my dead mom stole from a Ritz-Carlton in the ‘80s catches the chill outside quickly. My fingers are numbing. I flip through the photos one last time. Two convex Pringles back-to-back between our lips. Grapefruit-sized wads of toilet paper where our breasts would grow. The Lolita sunglasses. Our wide eyes, our pore-free skin. When we’re done strutting, pretend smoking and pawing imaginary martinis, we lie on our backs and stare at the glow-in-the-dark star stickers arranged into constellations. We pretend we’re seducing boys we like by pointing out our favorites. That’s Orion, that’s the Big Dipper. We stroke each other from our temples to our lips. We look deeply into each other’s eyes. Ninety seconds will make anyone fall in love with you. It’s all practice.
It’s hard to believe we were once unformed. Look at the blobs of clay we were. I place our smiling faces over the lion in a crown insignia, and touch the tip of the lighter to them. The corner curls inward and the smoke smells cancer-ridden. Stepping back, I trip over a branch and land on my ass. It fuckin’ hurts. I light up a Marlboro red and text back, “Can’t find the photos. *sad face emoji*.” Rachel leaves me on read.
About the author
Chelsea Stickle is the author of the flash fiction chapbooks Everything’s Changing (Thirty West Publishing, 2023) and Breaking Points (Black Lawrence Press, 2021). Her stories appear in CHEAP POP, CRAFT, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency and others. Her micros have been selected for Best Microfiction 2021 and the Wigleaf Top 50 in 2022. She lives in Annapolis, MD with her black rabbit George and a forest of houseplants. Read more at chelseastickle.com and find her on Twitter @Chelsea_Stickle.
About the Artist
J. C. Alfier’s most recent poetry book, The Shadow Field, was published by Louisiana Literature Press (2020). Journal credits include The Emerson Review, Faultline, New York Quarterly, Notre Dame Review, Penn Review, Southern Poetry Review, and Vassar Review. They are also an artist doing collage and double-exposure work.