How Well You Know the Art of Love
“Homage” by Simon Beraud
In Gulfport, Mississippi, two men hold hands. We walk undisguised into gas stations, debating Cheez-It flavors. Fearless is an easy choice, with you, as easy as choosing a bag of Original with Tabasco. The sales clerk — a square-shaped woman — is frowning, perhaps in disapproval of our clasped hands, or perhaps just cranky from living. Who can know? She says, Is that all? in a voice like metaphor. It becomes an inside joke, something we ask each other over the weekend — when things tense, when we stumble over each other's habits, when we’re unsure of this choice we made. We ask each other, Is that all?, as a way of righting time. Is that all? becomes our safe word, as we cinch our leather harnesses into place, as you attach sterling nipple clamps to my chest, your breath still warm on them, and pull, pull me towards the bedroom, while I play at insubordination, pretending to drag my feet when really I am ready to be hogtied, I am ready for your mild dominion. You ask me, You good? Of course I am. What can be evil in this, in two surrendering into one another? Your eyes shine like happy mirrors. We take a break, have supper. Tosca plays through Bluetooth speakers. The usual La Scala. You sing along in baritone. I put my hand at the top of your belly and feel the sound. Later, we swap sensations. Now you are a puppy dog, and I am leading you through the shag carpet of what we will come think of as our off-season beach house, the blinds of the window wide open upon the Gulf of Mexico. Anyone could see us. Let them. A leash can be an act of love. I wouldn’t have believed it. Because I’ve had all this before, Mikey. The leash and the Cheez-Its, the salt breeze and sandy skin, the crackling fire and takeout cartons, the fucking and the dozing and the coffee and the seagulls. I’ve even had the Tosca. But your teeth, opening a plastic bag of Original with Tabasco, one hand on the wheel. To think, that was all that was missing. To ask, Is that all? and be at last satisfied with the answer.
About the author
William Hawkins has been published in Granta, ZZYZYVA, and TriQuarterly, among others. Originally from Louisiana, he currently lives in Los Angeles where he is at work on a novel titled The Egg Dance.
About the Artist
Simon Beraud is a European photographer. Taught in music, cameras follow him since childhood. Always searching for a sense of intimacy with the subject and affirming the subjectivity of his own point of view, his work is moved by questions that are intrinsic to daily life: questions of identity, roots and uprooting, love, longing and belonging, cultural heritage... He develops his personal projects on the long term, and also works on assignments. He lives between Paris, Brussels, and Tel Aviv.